Chapter 3 Bodhisattvas

　　Xu Shanran returned to her boudoir again. 　　This time, as if because the memories had come to an end, she stayed in her boudoir for a long time. 　　Watching her mother's maids come in and out, watching her father's mother's aunts and uncles come in and out, and even meeting her grandmother and grandfather. 　　She had the heart to say something to move, but she and they seem to be two worlds of people, she can only watch and listen, but can not do anything. 　　Many days passed. 　　The initial excitement had subsided, and she was a little discouraged, as well as unspeakably bewildered. 　　Pro to the head, can come back to see certainly end the desire of the heart, but the dream dream, is not to realize what people think in the heart? The bodhisattva let her see her parents again, but did not ask her to touch them to recount the feelings of farewell, what is the meaning of this? 　　Besides, this dream is really a bit long. 　　Xu Shanran sometimes wake up sometimes sleep, but the time around seems to pass slowly, not like the usual dreams like a moment a kind of, often she slept, Li mother and a few maids in the needlework, and then she opened her eyes, the embroidered flowers on the cloth is only filled with half a color. She also often saw her own mother, her mother often accompanied by her side, softly talking, and there is a mother to lead a one by one doctor and carrying a medicine chest of children came in. 　　They were all good-natured people. 　　A few imperial physicians of the Imperial Hospital, a few famous physicians in the capital, they came to her bedside one by one, prescribed many prescriptions, and left some words such as "lead the patient to talk more", "bring the patient to move around more", "don't stimulate the patient" and so on. and "don't stimulate the patient" and so on. 　　Then a bowl of medicinal soup was handed to her like running water. 　　Xu Shanran knew she was sick. 　　She even knows how the symptoms of their own disease, almost is dull and wooden, the mouth can not speak, hands and feet do not move, and even eat like a toilet do not understand ...... is hysteria. 　　Xu Shanran thought. She knew she had hysteria once when she was a child, but did not have any memories of being sick, only in later days from her mother's side of the Gui mother's mouth heard only a few words of laughter, said that her mother was for her what can not be cared about, she watched her own wife for so many years, or for the first time to see the wife will be slamming the table to curse loudly; and said that her mother in that period of time really is to seek the gods and worship the Buddha, this side has just asked for a Saving the suffering of the Bodhisattva, over there hurry to welcome another Jade Qing Yuan Shi Tianzun ...... At that time she was still small, just seven or eight years old. 　　When she heard Mama Gui speak, she saw her mother smiling and looking at her, so she smiled along with her. 　　How silly she was at that time. 　　What kind of existence a child has for a mother, she finally realized after she had her own child. 　　At that time, her mother's family was still standing, she and Lin Shixuan had always been in harmony, so it could be said that there was no shortage of things in the world, but after she was pregnant with a child and took great pains to give birth to it, that kind of flesh and blood connected to the heart and soul of the feeling, as if the whole world is not similar to the previous somewhat. 　　So on the day her child left, her whole heart was going to be emptied. 　　So when she saw her unable to speak, would not move lying on the bed, drink a mouthful of medicinal juice have to be slowly pry open the teeth to feed down, mother's heart in the end how difficult it is? 　　However, after the third day of her illness, her mother carried her to the upper room to take care of her. 　　Mother always felt that those mama's maids couldn't take good care of her. 　　It was as if the mother had anticipated this as well. 　　It was on the night of the third day that Tang Xin, who was supposed to keep the night watch, slept so deeply that she didn't sleepily lift her head from the table until the next day when her mother arrived. 　　That was the same time that Mother Gui was talking about. 　　At that time, the mother did not have time to take care of tangxin, first hurriedly touched the bedding under her, then burst into a rage, pointing at tangxin half a day unable to speak, and so it was difficult to calm down a breath, the first sentence is: "Call the human teeth, the eyes of this half of no master of the cheap servant girl quickly sold away!" 　　Tong Xin was ashamed and afraid, kneeling on the ground and begging for mercy, half of the previous shrewdness. 　　In the end, although Tang Xin was not sold away, but also let her mother to transfer far away, said it is to clean the courtyard to go. 　　Her room mother and other maids later also followed to say some beg for mercy words, but the mother no longer believe them, directly to carry her to their own room to see the day to take care of, even the father came also can not attract her more a gaze, more hooked her to say a word. 　　"What does good sister-er like to eat today? The kitchen has made tender egg sliders that are still hot, so mother will feed good sister-er a couple bites, okay? Good Sister-er be careful of the heat, come, open your mouth, ah-" 　　"The weather outside is beautiful, the birds under the porch can't stop their voices, didn't Good Sister Son used to love to mess with birds? Mother let the little girl find the prettiest red-billed, emerald-feathered bird for Sister Shan-er, will you?" 　　"Good Sister-er has been sleeping for a long time, do you want to talk to Mother? Mother's ears haven't had the voice of good sister-er for a long time, and mother would love to hear good sister-er talk again ......" 　　"Come, Shanran, take a sip of the medicine, don't be afraid of the bitterness, after you've finished eating, mama will bring you honey fruits ......" 　　Xu Shanran eyed the ripples in the medicine bowl. 　　It was the splash of one tear after another smashing down. 　　She gradually understood why her mother's eyes were always bad in the future, every time she was blown by the wind or under the oil lamp for a long time it was always dry and uncomfortable for a while. 　　Crying for a long time, crying hard, eyes will hurt. 　　But in the past, mother Gui did not tell her about it, and mother did not tell her about it either. 　　The people who really love you, even for you to cry dry tears, crying hurt eyes, also as unusual. 　　She was unspeakably frustrated in her heart. 　　If she could talk, she really wanted to tell her mother not to talk, she can't reply now; she also wanted to tell her mother not to be sad, just give her to the maid to bring. 　　If you can't see the appearance, you don't have so many shocks; if you don't think about it, your mood will slowly calm down. 　　Just as she finally dealt with those bad news and betrayals one after another. 　　She will always be good in the end. 　　But Mother never gave up. 　　The more time passed, the more nervous her mother became, and the more meticulous her care became. 　　Xu Shanran could not remember how long she had been living like the living dead, maybe ten days, maybe a month. 　　The doctor came and went, the prescription was changed again and again, each time again please, those doctors looked at her although did not say anything, but Xu Shanran is not difficult to see from the eyes of those doctors to see what they think. 　　It was as if they were looking at a dead person. 　　Standing here, but doing their best. 　　Many days of people coming and going and the most immediate feelings made it impossible for Xu Shanran to treat this as a dream anymore. 　　Seo Sun Ran thought she might have gone back to her childhood before she died. 　　She was a little confused. 　　Was she even this sick at that time? And how did she get better in the end? Did she have to wait for the present her to go away before the past her could get better? 　　And when would she be gone-? But then she thought, but if she left, she would never see her relatives again - she couldn't let her mother cry like this. 　　The voice whispered in the back of her mind. 　　Like the softest part of her heart was hit by something, and a sour and happy feeling came up. 　　Yes, I can't watch my mother cry like this! It was so good to see her mother sad and happy for her again before she left. 　　Mother's bitter support didn't last long, and when a certain imperial doctor bluntly told the family to prepare for the afterlife, her nerves collapsed almost immediately. 　　The teapot and vase on the table were thrown down by mother's sleeve, and mother's face reddened as she pointed at the imperial doctor and cursed loudly, calling out the names of mother Gui and the subordinates she brought from her mother's family, telling them to beat the madman out of the house at once. 　　Her mother's mother's family, her maternal ancestor's family, also started out with military service just like the Duke of State's House. 　　But the Duke of State's family has been passed down for a long time, except for the family members who still learn to shoot according to the ancestral training, the servants and maids are not involved in these. But the mother's mother's family is different, mother's father, her grandfather has been young when the border guard, home is also there to settle, not to mention the mother's brothers, along with the yard of the maid servants, there will not ride a horse will not be the gun stick. 　　Only the mother, is in the grandfather returned to the capital only after, because it is the only daughter, from a young age, such as pearl like a treasure to hold, a little bit do not allow to dip these hard work and tired things, but beside the maid was taught by many, one by one all have extraordinary hands. 　　The outspoken Imperial Doctor was really thrown out, and then there is no State Duke of the big steward or father followed out to make amends, Xu Shanran does not know. 　　She only knows that her mother hugged her and cried a lot, crying is not pretty at all, the voice is as mournful as the sound of the lord in the night, just listen, call for a person's liver and intestines. 　　But after she finished crying, her mother didn't delay for a moment. 　　She asked mother Gui to have the steward prepare the car, and had the maid pack some packages, all of which she usually needed to use, as for mother herself, she only brought two packages of clothes. 　　Follow them to the Da Ci Temple in the countryside of the capital. 　　This temple has been the late emperor's gift, still alive host is said to have great magic power. 　　Mother has already made several invitations before, father's name card and even grandfather's name card, but did not invite people to come. 　　Mother took her directly to the mountain this time. 　　The mother did not know how to show piety, did not use the soft sedan chair servants, directly tied her to the body, step by step bowing to the mountain forward. 　　The hot sun blurred her makeup, the green stone cracked her forehead, her clothes were soaked with sweat, and her body, which had never worked before, was shaky. 　　Xu Shanran will never be able to know, has always been weak mother is how to insist on taking her so walk through more than a thousand steps; has always been obedient to her husband's filial piety in-laws mother and how to know that her husband and father-in-law do not believe in the monks and Taoist, bluntly said that "the monks and Taoist ninny, the beginning of the family of trouble", but also without hesitation to bring her out. 　　She watched her mother take her to climb the last step, in front of the presiding officer low to the dust and begged bitterly, and in the presiding officer finally relented, pointing out the method as if the eyes are bursting out of the light like ecstasy. 　　She watched her mother in accordance with the host said, bathing and purification, fasting for a day, and then kowtow in front of the bodhisattva, devoutly recited over and over again Namo Great Mercy Great Compassionate Relief Suffering and Salvation Wide Inspiration Guan Shiyin bodhisattva, said daily fasting, said every year to give alms, said everything everything, there is only one wish. 　　I ask the Bodhisattva to let Xu Shanran, the fifth daughter of the 13th generation of the Xu Clan in Haozhou, be well and safe. 　　Faithful woman He Su Xue wishes to serve the Buddha day in and day out ...... 　　A teardrop slid down her sash from the corner of her eye. 　　The power that bound her body seemed to dissipate like a fresh breeze far away. 　　Xu Shanran opened her mouth and laboriously squeezed two words out of her throat, "Bodhisattva ......" 　　Namo Great Compassionate Relief of Suffering and Difficulty Vast Inspiration Guanyin Bodhisattva. 　　The Bodhisattva's eyes are downcast and his compassionate face is always smiling.